5. ‘Almost-adulting’

Last night I had one of my many quarter-life-crises, as one does, and because I have a lot of thoughts about this I thought I’d write some of them down. I turned 18 a few months ago and instead of being happy about ‘almost-adulting’ (as queen Arden Rose likes to call it) I’ve kind of been freaking out. Writing my thoughts down always seems to help, so here I go.

Being a ‘legal adult’ comes with a lot of responsibilities. As a 17-year-old you barely have any responsibilities other than doing your best in school. Suddenly you’re 18 and there’s insurance to pay, university, tuition and everything that comes with it. I’m sure that it’s normal for all these new responsibilities to take some getting used to, but I’m a little scared, not gonna lie.

Besides all the financial responsibilities, there are just a lot of changes that require some adjusting. Take university for example. Next to going to a new school in a new city with a bunch of new people, going to university raises a bunch of questions. For example “Am I taking the right course?”, “Is this what I want to do in life?” or “Is this the right place for me?”. Unfortunately I don’t know the answers to these questions, no one does, but that won’t stop me from thinking about them. A lot.

As of last week, I’ve been studying criminology. All the classes I’ve had so far have been interesting, but I’ve been having doubts about having made the right choice. Criminology wasn’t the only course I was interested in taking. I’m a creative person, I love taking pictures, drawing and simply making things, so naturally art school was on the list. The problem with art school is the uncertainty it brings. Yes you should do what you love, but what if doing what you love might be a bad idea? In the future I want to be able to provide for my family and have some financial security and art school might not be able to give me that. Sure, every field brings its own problems but the chances are just a lot slimmer with courses outside the creative field.

Next to the potential future financial issues, art school might be harder than it sounds. It’s not just drawing pictures all day and that being it, you have to be able to be creative almost 24/7. Personally I have good ideas come to me either 15 times a day or once every 3 months. Going to art school might put too much pressure on being creative, giving me the idea that it might be a good idea to leave it all as a hobby.

There are MANY, many more thoughts going on in my mind and I’ll work on making the time to write them all down whenever it all gets a bit too much. So if you’re interested in everything going on in the shit storm that is my brain….. stay tuned. I know this post has been really long but I have so many thoughts on so many things!! If you’ve sat through this whole post, thank you very much and if you have any tips, please feel free to let me know (also any ideas for different topics?).

 

Lots of love,

Noa

 

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4. 2017

What a year it was. 2017 was one of the worst, but simultaneously one of the best years of my life. So much has happened the past twelve months that I cannot possibly cover them with one single post, but that won’t stop me from trying.

2017 threw a lot of shit at me, like it did at a lot of other people. I went through a very shitty breakup at the beginning of the year, that somehow lasted till October? It was one big shit show, but even though it sounds hella cliché, I’m a much better person now. I have learned to sometimes put myself first and not let other people be in charge of my life and how I feel. (Special shoutout to Tessa for putting up with all my rants about boys this year. Make sure to check out her blog, it’s amazing).

Therapy is something I started with this year. I had been putting it off for a couple of years but this spring I decided it was time. I’m glad I made that decision, because I learned a lot about myself in a really short amount of time. For any of you that are having doubts about this, just try it out! Your feelings rarely get worse from going to therapy so why not give it a shot?

These past few months I tried to focus on myself more. This came forward in the widest range of situations ever, for example my instagram. I would often not post certain pictures, because I was afraid people might view me as too pretentious. But guess what? If I like a picture, why would I not post it? I see instagram as a platform where you try to create your own audience for the pictures you want to share. If someone doesn’t like my pictures, they’re simply not part of the right audience and they have every right to leave. If any of you are ever in doubt wether or not you should post something, ask yourself this question: Will I hurt someone’s feelings with the content of this picture/video? If the answer is no and you like the picture, please just post it! Fill your feed with the most prententious, artsy pictures in the world and be happy scrolling through your own feed. When you’re an 84 year old little berry, you’re not going to think about how relieved you are about not posting that one picture. Let’s be real.

To sum everything up, this year was all about self-awareness and growing as a person. I’m happy to leave the shit memories behind in 2017 and take with me everything I’ve learned.

 

 

3. Writing

I haven’t written on this blog for over a year.. A YEAR!! That’s slightly harrowing, isn’t it? I have been so busy with my final my final year of school and everything that needs to be done. Studying for mid-terms, looking at different universities, and choosing a career, there is so much to stress about. These are just some of the reasons as to why I’ve been putting time off from writing, even though I know this is the period of time I need it the most.

Writing helps me feel a whole lot better when I’m stressed, so that’s exactly what I’m going to do. These last six months of high school are going to be absolute H E L L, so I need all the help I can get. When I write, I feel like I’m sorting out my thoughts, giving them a place. Kind of unscattering my scattered brain, if that makes sense.

So from now on, if there is something on my mind, or I just want to write, I will do just that. No more making excuses like “I have too much school work to do” and “I have no time to do nothing”. That’s usually my problem. I see relaxation the same way as procrastination, while taking some time for yourself is just as important as getting work done. This is definitely a character trait I should work on. But for now I can say, I will be writing more, just you wait…

2. Nozz Design

Today is the first day after I’ve launched my brand ‘Nozz Design’. ‘Launched’ meaning; creating an Instagram account telling people I sell T-shirts now. Even though it’s all still very small, I’m so excited to be sharing something I love with the world. I make the design myself which I’m really passionate about. Drawing makes me feel so at ease and peaceful, I absolutely love it.

So far I’ve gotten two orders which is really exciting!!! One from my boyfriend and one from my best friend, but it’s a start 🙂 It could end with these two orders right here, or it could grow bigger. Either way I am really excited to see how this will develop.

The design consists of a personalized little drawing and your own name/nickname. The process of creating this has been so much fun already! Hopefully there will be more to come soon.

If you’re interested, you can follow my Instagram account: @nozz_design   or email me at noawillemse@gmail.com for more information

I’ve listed some pictures down below 🙂

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1. Friends & Fairy lights

The other night I invited some friends over to just hang out with. When one of my best friends arrived, she proposed to put up some fairy lights in my basement to make it look as cozy as it can be. My record player was also nicely set up in the corner of the room, playing Michael Bublé’s Christmas Album. Yes, that’s a thing, even though it was barely October. Never too early for Bublé.

One of the best things about this hangout was that it was so spontaneaous. Normally I need complete structure in my life, but sometimes it’s nice to just go with the flow. We all played some games and chatted for a bit. Chats about life. I also got the chance to take some candid photographs of my friends.

Here are some of the pictures I took:

 

 

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